Friday, September 30, 2011
spending.
i need to stop. just checked on my all time spending habits via mint.com. not good. ive maybe doubled my spending habits compared to this time last year. its baaaad.
i think too much about what other people think.
it's been a common thought of mine that i really do care a little too much about what other people think of me. i don't really do it on purpose. i don't think anybody really does. but it is quite difficult to get out of the habit and just live how one wishes to live. it's just a thought process that i guess i'm so used to that i really don't know what it's like to not care. i often say that i don't care about what other people are doing or what other people think, but, by making the conscious decision to not care, I, in turn, care. does that make sense??
Monday, July 25, 2011
telephone.
i made a series of phone/video calls tonight.
i need to do this more often.
i need to try and make the effort to stay in touch with friends and family. not only does this strengthen my relationships with the people that i do care about, but it also makes me happier. i often feel quite glum about my friend status here in nashville. i think one of the hardest things about moving here or to anywhere new is the fact that you're starting from scratch. you are choosing to leave what you know behind and to venture off into a completely new surrounding. coming to nashville, i didnt know a single person, and, to be quite honest, it has been rather difficult building lasting, meaningful relationships. i do miss having friends that i can count on and rely on for a good talking. i do have quite a few friends that i have no problem staying in touch with. but then there are others that are just not easy to keep. i just need to make a more conscious effort to stay in touch with some of these people. i need to find a way for me to be genuinely interested in their lives. for being so social, it is surprising to me how antisocial i can be.
all in all. i need to get on the phone.
i need to do this more often.
i need to try and make the effort to stay in touch with friends and family. not only does this strengthen my relationships with the people that i do care about, but it also makes me happier. i often feel quite glum about my friend status here in nashville. i think one of the hardest things about moving here or to anywhere new is the fact that you're starting from scratch. you are choosing to leave what you know behind and to venture off into a completely new surrounding. coming to nashville, i didnt know a single person, and, to be quite honest, it has been rather difficult building lasting, meaningful relationships. i do miss having friends that i can count on and rely on for a good talking. i do have quite a few friends that i have no problem staying in touch with. but then there are others that are just not easy to keep. i just need to make a more conscious effort to stay in touch with some of these people. i need to find a way for me to be genuinely interested in their lives. for being so social, it is surprising to me how antisocial i can be.
all in all. i need to get on the phone.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
grow up.
growing up is difficult. when you're young, you only think about friends, recess, and what you're having for dinner. now, as a 24 year old, i think often about work, bills, and what i want to do with the rest of my life. really daunting thoughts really.
my house was recently broken into. over fourth of july weekend, my 2 roommates and i were all out of the house for one reason or another. when the first of my roommates returned, he found a window open, a television missing, and a laptop gone. the laptop. was mine. at first i was shocked and pissed because who ever wants there house to be broken into and their shit stolen. but at the same time, i couldnt help but be a little glad. my good ol' toshiba has survived the past 4 years. it has been a great 4 years but it was time for it to go.
ANYWHOOOO... so they took my computer and now i must deal with insurance stuff. i feel like it's not meant to be complicated, the whole process of dealing with insurance claims, but for some reason or another, it has turned to be quite frustrating. i have never dealt with insurance before. the only thing that i know about it is that i send a check to state farm every april to take care of my car and my house that i rent. i don't make payments, i just send one check because i don't want to deal with the monthly reminder that i am constantly losing money. because i don't really know how everything works, what i'm supposed to send to them, what i'm supposed to tell them, etc etc... i feel like i'm walking a little in the dark and the state farm people are not really helping provide a light. they've told me what to fill out and what to send them, but i don't really feel like they're giving me information on how to get the most amount of money back. on the other hand, my roommate diddy, whose television and wii were stolen, has had real helpful people... i think it's partly due to the fact that he knows a little bit more about this stuff than i do... which makes me think that i really need to start paying attention to this kind of stuff. problem is... i really have no interest.
i constantly have this conversation with my father. i have no interest in anything that has to do with money. i have no interested in learning how to invest... WAIT. scratch that. i do have an interest in learning how to invest, but i have no interest in the process of learning how to invest. i do feel like it's necessary for me to learn how to deal with money, and to learn how to work with my 401k (thanks to my mother.... 501k has now changed to the correct 401k)... but i just have no interest in learning about it. i don't have the patience and the desire to read a whole bunch of books. the problem is that i like results. i like to see my money grow. the fact that money grows rather slowly in banks and such makes it hard for me to have an interest when i can't see an outcome.
wow have i gone on a tangent.
good night.
my house was recently broken into. over fourth of july weekend, my 2 roommates and i were all out of the house for one reason or another. when the first of my roommates returned, he found a window open, a television missing, and a laptop gone. the laptop. was mine. at first i was shocked and pissed because who ever wants there house to be broken into and their shit stolen. but at the same time, i couldnt help but be a little glad. my good ol' toshiba has survived the past 4 years. it has been a great 4 years but it was time for it to go.
ANYWHOOOO... so they took my computer and now i must deal with insurance stuff. i feel like it's not meant to be complicated, the whole process of dealing with insurance claims, but for some reason or another, it has turned to be quite frustrating. i have never dealt with insurance before. the only thing that i know about it is that i send a check to state farm every april to take care of my car and my house that i rent. i don't make payments, i just send one check because i don't want to deal with the monthly reminder that i am constantly losing money. because i don't really know how everything works, what i'm supposed to send to them, what i'm supposed to tell them, etc etc... i feel like i'm walking a little in the dark and the state farm people are not really helping provide a light. they've told me what to fill out and what to send them, but i don't really feel like they're giving me information on how to get the most amount of money back. on the other hand, my roommate diddy, whose television and wii were stolen, has had real helpful people... i think it's partly due to the fact that he knows a little bit more about this stuff than i do... which makes me think that i really need to start paying attention to this kind of stuff. problem is... i really have no interest.
i constantly have this conversation with my father. i have no interest in anything that has to do with money. i have no interested in learning how to invest... WAIT. scratch that. i do have an interest in learning how to invest, but i have no interest in the process of learning how to invest. i do feel like it's necessary for me to learn how to deal with money, and to learn how to work with my 401k (thanks to my mother.... 501k has now changed to the correct 401k)... but i just have no interest in learning about it. i don't have the patience and the desire to read a whole bunch of books. the problem is that i like results. i like to see my money grow. the fact that money grows rather slowly in banks and such makes it hard for me to have an interest when i can't see an outcome.
wow have i gone on a tangent.
good night.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
mas tacos, etc.
so i guess the first news of the day is the fact that i got a new macbook pro! pretty excited for this new investment (despite the fact that i got the new comp because of the fact that my house got broken into and took my old computer). but nevertheless... we look at the positive. we look on the bright side and the bright side is a beautiful new computer with a newly bought orange cover :o) you know i had to go there... although we have macs at work and dont use pc's often, its still a little weird and maybe surreal to have a mac at home. ive had a toshiba for the past 10 years or so. not only am i used to having the toshiba, but because my computer got stolen, ive had to reset all my settings on my computer, some which have come so naturally to me over the years that i probably didnt even know that they existed.
had a super long day at work today. we're working on this new project... the history of hockey in nashville. a look back at the past 50 years of hockey in the music city. my supervisor has been the main guy that's been working on it, but he's slowly started to need our assistance. and today was one of those days. we had a full day of interviews. our first interview was scheduled at 9.30am and because we couldnt set up the studio last night because of the britney concert at the arena (yes. i did go. yes. it was amazing. yes. she wasn't singing) we had to get to the arena early to set up all the equipment. as soon as we got everything set up, we started the interviews. didnt get home till about 7.30pm and was TIRED aka still am tired.
although it was an exhausting day, it was still kind of nice to hear all those stories about past teams that have gone through nashville. nashville has had quite a few teams come through the city. there was the dixie flyers, the knights, the nightflyers, the south stars, and i think that may be it. maybe another team, cant remember off the top of my head, but that's still quite a few teams in the past 50 years. so we interviewed past players, fans, people who now work for the preds, and people who are avid fans of the preds because of the hockey that they saw early on in their lives. it was cool to hear about people who have played, what the leagues were like, how it operated, how fans were, etc. it was cool to hear, but, towards the end of the night, i just wanted people to give one word answers. the last interview was especially long. felt like he was the best storyteller, but was telling really long stories. it was one of those... womp womp situations. yaddadamean??
i'm hoping that this new computer will bring more posts and more projects. i'm hoping to purchase a canon t2i soon... i really want to work on some at home projects. get to know the technology and the operating system of a camera. i feel as though by getting to know a camera, i get to know the mechanics of digital photography aka digital cameras aka videos. that's my hope. i had diddy (roommie) download some adobe software for me and i now have final cut. photoshop. illustrator. and after effects on my computer. i'm really hoping that i can utilize these new programs and really hone in on my editing/graphics skills.
lastly. on the topic of new places in nashville. courtney (other roommie) introduced me and diddy to THE BEST TACO/MEXICAN place in nashville. theres a place couple blocks from our place that is a little hole in the wall that is DE-LISH. they have maybe.... 5 options for tacos, a corn on the cob side options, couple of soup options, and some yummy fresh agua drinks. we went last friday night for din. the line was long. it was hot. dont think there was any AC. but it was amazing. i highly highly highly recommend it. me and diddy are going to go get it for lunch tomorrow and i am excited.
the end.
i am. le tired.
had a super long day at work today. we're working on this new project... the history of hockey in nashville. a look back at the past 50 years of hockey in the music city. my supervisor has been the main guy that's been working on it, but he's slowly started to need our assistance. and today was one of those days. we had a full day of interviews. our first interview was scheduled at 9.30am and because we couldnt set up the studio last night because of the britney concert at the arena (yes. i did go. yes. it was amazing. yes. she wasn't singing) we had to get to the arena early to set up all the equipment. as soon as we got everything set up, we started the interviews. didnt get home till about 7.30pm and was TIRED aka still am tired.
although it was an exhausting day, it was still kind of nice to hear all those stories about past teams that have gone through nashville. nashville has had quite a few teams come through the city. there was the dixie flyers, the knights, the nightflyers, the south stars, and i think that may be it. maybe another team, cant remember off the top of my head, but that's still quite a few teams in the past 50 years. so we interviewed past players, fans, people who now work for the preds, and people who are avid fans of the preds because of the hockey that they saw early on in their lives. it was cool to hear about people who have played, what the leagues were like, how it operated, how fans were, etc. it was cool to hear, but, towards the end of the night, i just wanted people to give one word answers. the last interview was especially long. felt like he was the best storyteller, but was telling really long stories. it was one of those... womp womp situations. yaddadamean??
i'm hoping that this new computer will bring more posts and more projects. i'm hoping to purchase a canon t2i soon... i really want to work on some at home projects. get to know the technology and the operating system of a camera. i feel as though by getting to know a camera, i get to know the mechanics of digital photography aka digital cameras aka videos. that's my hope. i had diddy (roommie) download some adobe software for me and i now have final cut. photoshop. illustrator. and after effects on my computer. i'm really hoping that i can utilize these new programs and really hone in on my editing/graphics skills.
lastly. on the topic of new places in nashville. courtney (other roommie) introduced me and diddy to THE BEST TACO/MEXICAN place in nashville. theres a place couple blocks from our place that is a little hole in the wall that is DE-LISH. they have maybe.... 5 options for tacos, a corn on the cob side options, couple of soup options, and some yummy fresh agua drinks. we went last friday night for din. the line was long. it was hot. dont think there was any AC. but it was amazing. i highly highly highly recommend it. me and diddy are going to go get it for lunch tomorrow and i am excited.
the end.
i am. le tired.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
oprah.
so i just finished watching the last episode of oprah ever. 25 years she's been on the air and she's never missed a show, a total of 4,561 shows. can you imagine never missing a day at work? granted... oprah found her calling and i'm sure it was [almost] no problem for her to go to work... but... 4561 shows?! really?!
the reason for my post is not to praise oprah for the woman that she is (although i could because she really has done a lot for so many people). the reason for my post is to reflect on what she said today, the last day of her show. love her or hate her, oprah has really found and taught some invaluable lessons on her show. i've never really connected to the show or oprah herself and have always watched it for the entertainment factor. however... she explained today what she tried to do over the years, the foundation on which she developed her show on. and let me tell ya, it all makes sense now.
i think what i got most from oprah's shpiel today was the fact that... each individual person creates their own destiny. oprah talked a little bit about religion and God and how that all plays a part in her life. but the fact of the matter is, some people are not religious. i, for example, have never really believed in any sort of real higher power. i've always believed that if i want something or if i want to get somewhere, i have to make that happen myself. i thought that the message that oprah delivered today really supported the thought that i can make things happen and i am the only one that can make things happen for myself.
a few segments of the show that i found especially touching:
"Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it... Because that is what a calling is. It lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be, doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. And that is what I want for all of you and hope that you will take from this show. To live from the heart of yourself. You have to make a living; I understand that. But you also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world."
"Here's what I learned from all of that... Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn't matter what your mama did; it doesn't matter what your daddy didn't do. You are responsible for your life. ... You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you're responsible for the energy that you bring to others... All life is energy and we are transmitting it at every moment. We are all little beaming little signals like radio frequencies, and the world is responding in kind."
"The show has taught me there is a common thread that runs through all of our pain and all of our suffering, and that is unworthiness. Not feeling worthy enough to own the life you were created for. Even people who believe they deserve to be happy and have nice things often don't feel worthy once they have them."
"There is a difference, you know, between thinking you deserve to be happy and knowing you are worthy of happiness... What I got was we often block our own blessings because we don't feel inherently good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worthy enough... the show has taught me you're worthy because you are born and because you are here. Your being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough."
the past couple days i have really been thinking about balance. the balance between work, play, time to chillax... etc etc. how i feel like an old maid sometimes and dont feel like i'm 24 years old and feeling like i should go out and experience life and fun and just enjoy my time. people talk about going out... getting drunk and hammered and wasted and shwasty facety... and yes. i do miss that. very much. very very much. life is just not the same for me anymore. i guess its getting older. i guess its living in nashville. i guess its not being with old friends and being surrounded in that kind of environment. whatever it is and whatever it may be, its just not the same. someone asked me recently, "do you live to work or work to live?" and i had to reply that right now... i live to work. i wish it weren't so, because i would love to live by the motto that i work to live but i guess the biggest thing is that knowing what i want to do and knowing that my career is important to me... i really dont mind living to work. i love the fact that i enjoy my job and that i feel so fortunate that i know what i want to do with my life in terms of career. i worry about those people who are walking aimlessly on college campuses not knowing their true calling. and although i do not know if video production really is my true calling, at least i feel like my compass is pointing in the right direction.
so... long story short. oprah's show made me think. i thought a lot. and now i'm going to bed.
the reason for my post is not to praise oprah for the woman that she is (although i could because she really has done a lot for so many people). the reason for my post is to reflect on what she said today, the last day of her show. love her or hate her, oprah has really found and taught some invaluable lessons on her show. i've never really connected to the show or oprah herself and have always watched it for the entertainment factor. however... she explained today what she tried to do over the years, the foundation on which she developed her show on. and let me tell ya, it all makes sense now.
i think what i got most from oprah's shpiel today was the fact that... each individual person creates their own destiny. oprah talked a little bit about religion and God and how that all plays a part in her life. but the fact of the matter is, some people are not religious. i, for example, have never really believed in any sort of real higher power. i've always believed that if i want something or if i want to get somewhere, i have to make that happen myself. i thought that the message that oprah delivered today really supported the thought that i can make things happen and i am the only one that can make things happen for myself.
a few segments of the show that i found especially touching:
"Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it... Because that is what a calling is. It lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be, doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. And that is what I want for all of you and hope that you will take from this show. To live from the heart of yourself. You have to make a living; I understand that. But you also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world."
"Here's what I learned from all of that... Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn't matter what your mama did; it doesn't matter what your daddy didn't do. You are responsible for your life. ... You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you're responsible for the energy that you bring to others... All life is energy and we are transmitting it at every moment. We are all little beaming little signals like radio frequencies, and the world is responding in kind."
"The show has taught me there is a common thread that runs through all of our pain and all of our suffering, and that is unworthiness. Not feeling worthy enough to own the life you were created for. Even people who believe they deserve to be happy and have nice things often don't feel worthy once they have them."
"There is a difference, you know, between thinking you deserve to be happy and knowing you are worthy of happiness... What I got was we often block our own blessings because we don't feel inherently good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worthy enough... the show has taught me you're worthy because you are born and because you are here. Your being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough."
the past couple days i have really been thinking about balance. the balance between work, play, time to chillax... etc etc. how i feel like an old maid sometimes and dont feel like i'm 24 years old and feeling like i should go out and experience life and fun and just enjoy my time. people talk about going out... getting drunk and hammered and wasted and shwasty facety... and yes. i do miss that. very much. very very much. life is just not the same for me anymore. i guess its getting older. i guess its living in nashville. i guess its not being with old friends and being surrounded in that kind of environment. whatever it is and whatever it may be, its just not the same. someone asked me recently, "do you live to work or work to live?" and i had to reply that right now... i live to work. i wish it weren't so, because i would love to live by the motto that i work to live but i guess the biggest thing is that knowing what i want to do and knowing that my career is important to me... i really dont mind living to work. i love the fact that i enjoy my job and that i feel so fortunate that i know what i want to do with my life in terms of career. i worry about those people who are walking aimlessly on college campuses not knowing their true calling. and although i do not know if video production really is my true calling, at least i feel like my compass is pointing in the right direction.
so... long story short. oprah's show made me think. i thought a lot. and now i'm going to bed.
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